Some practical advice for clergy considering a parish job

Last week, I posted some practical advice for pastoral search committees. That advice had been part of a sermon in which I confessed that I lied on the ethics portion of the General Ordination Exam--and got the highest possible score.

What I didn't mention was that the ethics question had to do with whether or not a rector should consider taking a new job.  I don't have the answer I gave any more; what I remember was that I wrote a whole lot of Christian blather about discernment and the leading of the Holy Spirit when the truth was far more practical and (I feel) better serves both the clergy and the church.

I sense that many of us use spiritual blather to mask or justify our more personal or practical reasons for making the decisions we do.  I think that's a shame that we feel we cannot give our real reasons.

Don't believe me?  There was one time when I decided that a parish was not right for me.  I told various friends what I had chosen, and one (also a priest) asked me I had really discerned, wanting to know my spiritual reasons for saying no.  I could certainly gin some up, but to this day I resent the fact that turning down a job needed to be approved by spiritual signs when what it boiled down to was, "Not interested.  Sorry."

There are some jobs I'm very sorry I didn't get, jobs to which I felt called.  But I have also turned down a few positions, and I regret none of them.  But, my goodness, the pressure I have felt to take them from people who had all sorts of oh-so-spiritual reasons why I should--oh-so-spiritual reasons that just happened to coincide with what they wanted.

So with that in mind, here is my very blunt advice on the whole job search process.

• You need to look out for yourself and your own needs.  First and foremost.  And it sounds selfish and horrible, but I don't care.  This is priority one.  Does the job offer you enough to live on?  Will you be able to take care of yourself and your family?  Will your basic needs for your health and well-being be met? Will you be able to do this job without going into debt?  (You would not believe...well, maybe you would.) Who is going to take care of you? By and large, my friends, you are going to need to take care of yourself, so make sure you have the resources to do so.  And by "resources," I mean money, housing, health insurance, friends, and time off.  Spiritual resources are not enough.

• "I'm interested!" is a good enough reason.   Forget the spiritual clap-trap.  Does the job sound fun? Interesting?  Is it in a place you'd like to live?  A place that will provide opportunities for you and your family?  Does the job description intrigue you?  Well, then, apply.

• Pity is not a good enough reason.  Just because a parish neeeeeeds a priest and you have the skills and you could heeeelp them is not a good enough reason to apply.  Do NOT be guilted into applying for a job.  Guilt, pity, and shame are no basis for a good working relationship.

• Be honest about what you can and cannot do.  I've already told the pastoral search committee that priests lie in interviews, but let me tell you: don't lie in interviews.  If they're looking for an administrator and you're no good at administration, don't say, "I'm great at administration."  Say something like, "I can do x and y, but I will need someone to help me with a and b.  Here is how I have been able to manage those tasks in other places."  If they need someone who is good at something you're not good at, you are not the person for the job.

• Negotiate at the outset.  See "looking out for your needs," above.  Do you need a day to be with your family?  Do you need to have your office painted before you move into it?  Do you need internet access?  Do you need a cap placed on the hours you work in a week?  Be clear about it--as clear as you can, given that you don't know all the circumstances.  Now is your best time to set expectations.  Stick to them.

• Get the money.  See "looking out for your needs," above.  One thing I really regret in my church career is not pushing harder on the financial side.  I don't even want to think of how many thousands of dollars I've lost because I did not say, "that is not acceptable."  One thing I'm proud of is turning down a job that paid below the set diocesan minimum (see "pity is not a good enough reason," above).  I probably would have lost one other job, or walked away from it, because they were not following their own diocesan standards for salaries, but I took it anyway.  I still regret that I did not stand my ground and say, "This needs to be different" and let the chips fall where they may.

One more thing about the money side: as long as the Church can get away with underpaying its clergy, it will do so.  And the way for that to change is for clergy not to take jobs where they are underpaid, or to do part-time work for the part-time pay you are being offered.  "Diocesan minimum" is a very nice concept, but in my experience, diocesan minimums are made to be broken.  Hold the Church accountable to its own standards.  This is not being greedy.  It is an act of courage and an act of justice--not just for yourself, but for others.  And be aware that it may cost you jobs.

•  Get it in writing.  Just do.  When you negotiate new terms, when you agree on hours, when you settle on a salary...get it in writing.

• Sometimes it's just dumb luck. I was just looking this morning this morning at the readings for May 20th, and the Acts reading is about the call of Matthias, which was basically eenie, meenie, meinie, moe.   I think we downplay the role of luck in the search process in general.   Leading of the Holy Spirit, my ass.  If you get a job you really wanted, don't get all holy-moly on us.  Maybe your resume was at the top of the pile when people were fresh and excited.  If you don't get a job, don't bow your head and ask what you did wrong.  Maybe you had the same name as the search committee chair's horrible first grade teacher.  There are people involved in this search process, and people are people.

• Remember it's just a job.  Really.  It's a job.  Yes, it's a calling, but no more or less than being a professor or a politician or a police officer.  It's. A. Job.  Treat it with the respect it deserves, but always remember that reverence belongs to God alone.

End rant.

Monday Morning Preacher: A Quarter of your Time

I didn't preach this weekend, and it's amazing how much I was able to get done.  I'll have more to say later this week (probably) on the clergy side of the job search equation, but one thing that really struck me, writing the advice for pastoral search committees, is that preaching and Sunday services are a quarter-time job.

This is not the "every minute of your sermon takes an hour" dictum; I think that's a bit too pat.  But I have found over the years that despite my best efforts, there's always a day (usually called "Saturday") that has to be fully dedicated to preparing the sermon.  Even if I'm not sitting and writing, or reading commentaries, or pondering deeply, the whole day is colored by the need to get the sermon written.

So there's that, and then there's the services.  For one service, that's at least 2 hours.  For two, at least 4 1/2, which includes the time prepping before the service, cleaning up afterwards, and talking with people at coffee hour.

All of which adds up to, at a minimum, 10 hours, or a quarter of your time.

I would love it if that became the assumption in clergy job descriptions, that sermon prep and Sunday services are a quarter of the job, and that only the remaining 30 hours are up for negotiation.  Having looked at a good many clergy job descriptions, they seem to jam so much stuff in there as if they were worried you wouldn't have enough to do.  Would that change, do you think, if there were a deeper understanding that preaching and presiding took up 1/4 of their allotted work week?

More later.

Some practical advice for pastoral search committees

Like so many things in the church, the Pastoral Search process seems often to be spiritualized beyond any recognition for what it is: a hiring process.  Actually, I think what's worse is that search committees are taught to use the language of call while disguising their true desire to hire with a religious patina.  Oh, I don't know.  I just know I've seen a whole lot of bad search processes that seem to lack any straightforward and forthright thinking in favor of a lot of spiritual blather.

I was preaching last Sunday to a church in the middle of a search process.  So I told them my rather blunt ideas about calling a priest as part of the sermon and thought I'd share them with you.

• Be as realistic as you can. Be realistic about the resources you have, about what you want done and the time it will require.  One thing you should know is that for me as supply clergy, it takes about 10 hours a week to prepare a sermon, do the service, and attend coffee hour.  That leaves you 30 hours a week for additional work if you're hiring someone full time.  I have seen so many job descriptions that seem to feel they need to fill up a priest's time.  Forty hours a week is not as much as you think.

• Prioritize. If the person you call were good at only one thing, what thing would you like it to be? What kind of skills will that require?  If you really want to grow as a congregation, make sure the job description allows lots of time for outreach--which means less time for training acolytes, creating bulletins, etc.

• Past titles mean very little. I think this is more true in the church than in many other professions. Don’t be impressed by or dismissive of job titles.  Just because someone was in charge of a parish doesn't mean they were any good at it.  Skip the title and look at their skills, what they have accomplished, and what they say they can do well.

 • Check references! Really, I can’t stress this enough. What do the people who have already worked with the applicants have to say about them? What do they report about their skills, accomplishments, and gifts?  I am amazed at the number of times I've been in a search and gotten fairly far, only to ask my references if they had been called and found out they hadn't.  References are an excellent resource for getting a fuller perspective on the applicant; why people don't use them I do not know.

• Priests lie in interviews. I’m not saying all priests lie all the time. What I’m saying is that if a priest wants a job and you say to that person, “What we really need is someone who’s good at administration. Are you good at administration?”, there’s a temptation to say, “Oh, yes!”, and then try to figure it out later once you’ve got the job. I'm afraid we have been well-trained to give the right answer in order to get ahead.  You need to be (I hate to say it) cunning to allow priests the freedom to tell you the truth about themselves. What questions can you ask that will determine their actual skills, habits, and practices?

 • Priests are also trying to do the best they can. But they are still the same species. Never forget that.

Image courtesy of ASBO Jesus http://asbojesus.wordpress.com

Thoughts?

Not By Bread Alone

The mother of a friend of mine is on the board of a food pantry in upstate New York.  She was approached by a local organization that offers grants to organizations--but with a catch: the grant had to go to a program specifically to support women.  Now, how do you do that with a food pantry?

My friend's mother had a brilliant idea: why not provide food pantry participants with nylons, skin care products, and the basic things women need to go to job interviews and present professionally?  And why not call it Not By Bread Alone?

I think that's simply fantastic!  One of the things I love about it is that it conveys (I hope it conveys) to the patrons of the food pantry that they are not seen as people just looking for a handout.  It says (I hope it says), "We don't think you're lazy."  When the food pantry provides for some of the things people need for work or for a job interview, it acknowledges some of the issues they might face beyond food.

But there's more to it than the pragmatic job-related issues.  There's also something about aesthetics that I find worth noting.  I vaguely remember a story Dorothy Day relates that, thanks to the wonder of Google and the Dorothy Day Library on the Web, I can quote accurately.

Another family moving in with us, on one of our Catholic Worker farms, felt that the beautifying which had made the farmhouse and its surroundings a charming spot was not consistent with a profession of poverty. They broke up the rustic benches and fence, built by one of the men from the Bowery who had stayed with us, and used them for firewood. The garden surrounding the statue of the Blessed Virgin, where we used to say the rosary, was trampled down and made into a woodyard filled with chips and scraps left from the axe which chopped the family wood. It was the same with the house: the curtains were taken down, the floor remained bare, there were no pictures--the place became a scene of stark poverty, and a visiting bishop was appalled at the "poverty." It had looked quite comfortable before, and one did not think of the crowded bedrooms or the outhouse down the hill, or the outdoor cistern and well where water had to be pumped and put on the wood stove in the kitchen to heat. Not all these hardships were evident.

Dorothy Day goes on to say in that same passage, "But the poor, it seems, have no right to beauty, to order. Poverty must be squalor, filth, ugliness, to be esteemed as poverty."

One thing I like about this project is that it does not insist that the poor must look properly poor in order to be worthy of aid.  That it is all right for people to want to look good and feel good, to dress well and impress people by how they present themselves.  That you can wear nylons and have beauty products, they are not things only for those who have "gotten their life together".  My pleasure in Not By Bread Alone is that it says, "Yes, you do have a right to beauty--your own first of all."

This is not about vanity; this is not about fashion.  This is about giving people the message, "You are a person of substance and worth in this world. We believe in you.  Go out and show them who you are."

I hope this project goes like gangbusters.

Update: I wrote a follow-up on the program here.

My new job

I will have even less time to blog than before because I have a new part time job at Hendry Wines!

It's an amazing coincidence, actually. I went to a tasting and tour with a friend of mine who said, "When I retire, I want to work part time at a winery," and the woman giving the tour said, "Are you available now?" Two weeks later, and voila! I am doing data processing, taking orders, answering the phones, and generally trying to make myself useful--and absorb information about wine in the process.

If you're ever in the Napa Valley, call for a tour. I may be the one answering the phone.

A poem for this Labor Day

Calling Him Back from Layoff by Bob Hicok : The Poetry Foundation

Calling Him Back from Layoff

BY BOB HICOK

I called a man today. After he said

hello and I said hello came a pause

during which it would have been

confusing to say hello again so I said

how are you doing and guess what, he said

fine and wondered aloud how I was

and it turns out I’m OK. He

was on the couch watching cars

painted with ads for Budweiser follow cars

painted with ads for Tide around an oval

that’s a metaphor for life because

most of us run out of gas and settle

for getting drunk in the stands

and shouting at someone in a t-shirt

we want kraut on our dog. I said

he could have his job back and during

the pause that followed his whiskers

scrubbed the mouthpiece clean

and his breath passed in and out

in the tidal fashion popular

with mammals until he broke through

with the words how soon thank you

ohmyGod which crossed his lips and drove

through the wires on the backs of ions

as one long word as one hard prayer

of relief meant to be heard

by the sky. When he began to cry I tried

with the shape of my silence to say

I understood but each confession

of fear and poverty was more awkward

than what you learn in the shower.

After he hung up I went outside and sat

with one hand in the bower of the other

and thought if I turn my head to the left

it changes the song of the oriole

and if I give a job to one stomach other

forks are naked and if tonight a steak

sizzles in his kitchen do the seven

other people staring at their phones

hear?

What I am discovering about being a social media consultant

You know, when I became a priest, I thought I would be spending most of my time in conversations with people and I found, to my surprise, that I spent most of my time at the computer.

When I became a social media consultant, I didn't think I'd be spending much time with people at all, but of course I realized that the people who needed my services were the people who weren't already using social media. What it means is that I spend much of my time either meeting with people, calling people, or making plans to meet with or call people.

At least it gets me out of the house!

Off to make a phone call...

Introducing...

Have you been wondering what's kept me so busy I haven't been able to blog the past few weeks? OK, there's a puppy. But there's also...

Yes, indeed, I've been working hard to create a website which finally went live yesterday. You may note that a couple of the blog posts look familiar. You can also follow us on Twitter.

But what is Cephas Media, you ask? It is a subsidiary of Cephas Consulting, which has been around for 20 years "combining strategic marketing and communications services with traditional consulting tools such as process re-engineering, strategic analysis and economic modeling." Cephas Media is the social media arm of the organization. My official title is Director of Marketing and Social Media--la di dah. I'm working with six clients thus far and searching for more. If what we have to offer sounds interesting, please let me know. Or if you know someone who might need our services, pass the word along.

We'll see where this goes!

Conan O'Brien explains it all to me

The commencement address that Conan O'Brien gave at Dartmouth resonated with me in many ways, but perhaps most at this point:

"Now, by definition, Commencement speakers at an Ivy League college are considered successful. But a little over a year ago, I experienced a profound and very public disappointment. I did not get what I wanted, and I left a system that had nurtured and helped define me for the better part of 17 years. I went from being in the center of the grid to not only off the grid, but underneath the coffee table that the grid sits on, lost in the shag carpeting that is underneath the coffee table supporting the grid. It was the making of a career disaster, and a terrible analogy.

"But then something spectacular happened. Fogbound, with no compass, and adrift, I started trying things. I grew a strange, cinnamon beard. I dove into the world of social media. I started tweeting my comedy. I threw together a national tour. I played the guitar. I did stand-up, wore a skin-tight blue leather suit, recorded an album, made a documentary, and frightened my friends and family. Ultimately, I abandoned all preconceived perceptions of my career path and stature and took a job on basic cable with a network most famous for showing reruns, along with sitcoms created by a tall, black man who dresses like an old, black woman. I did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous and seemingly irrational things and guess what: with the exception of the blue leather suit, it was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life. To this day I still don't understand exactly what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged—and this is important—had more conviction about what I was doing."

Well, maybe not the cinnamon beard part. Or the national tour part. Or the basic cable part. But the part where I "abandoned all preconceived perceptions of my career path"? That most definitely.

Later in the speech, he talks about how dreams change. And that's most definitely true as well.

I graduated from seminary 10 years ago, expecting to have a life-long career in the church, and now I find I'm a social media and marketing consultant. How did that happen? I don't know, but I feel really good.

Tuesday Book Blogging: Books on Wine

I have narrowed down my job search even further to a position in marketing with an emphasis on social media in the wine industry. And the more I look into wine as a business, the more fascinating it becomes. In an earlier post, I talked about networking. I'll be talking to a friend and say, "Oh, by the way, do you know someone in the wine industry?" I have been amazed how many times the answer is, "Why, yes. Yes, I do." Who knew?

So as I search and network and apply, I'm doing quite a bit of reading. Oh my, how much there is to learn! Here are three books I'm working on right now.

I actually went ahead and bought WineWise which was amazingly affordable, given its scope and beauty. Good thing it's affordable, too, since I now want to try all kinds of wine I'd never heard of before, like Viognier. So well-written, too. Very accessible. Here's a teaser:

In the world of fine white wine, there is life beyond Chardonnay. If you want that life to include vibrant spices, honeysuckle and rose petal scents, and the unmistakable aroma of lychees, then you may want to give Gewurtztraminer a try (say it five times fast: guh-VERTZ-tra-meener).

It's blending very well with the second book I'm reading, Judgment of Paris, which is a fascinating story about how California wines come to world prominence, but is a bit of a tough read just because there are so many names and quite a bit of technical information about wine regions and how wine is made. It was made into a not very good movie, sadly, called Bottle Shock, which I saw when it first came out and loved anyway, mostly because of Alan Rickman. I'll post the trailer below. Here's a teaser:

The winery's equipment for pressing grapes and aging wines was badly out of date,and the vineyards were run-down. At the Pasteur Institute, Tchelistcheff had learned the importance of cleanliness around a living product like wine, and it was a shock for him to find a rat floating in a tank of Sauvignon Blanc at Beaulieu.

You'll be glad to know that was back in 1938.

Finally, a friend of mine found a very practical book entitled (straightforwardly) How to Launch Your Wine Career. Well, here's hoping. And if you know anyone in the wine business, let me know, would you?

Job Search Update: the Spam edition

Yesterday on LinkedIn I received this message:

Im an agent/blogger/publicist/talent scout if you think that i can help you with your career/company please just let me know...

P.S I can also offer you free advertising in my Blog are you interested in that?

ummm...no.

But that is just PEANUTS compared to the email I received this morning in response to a Craigslist ad for an administrative/personal assistant position I applied for.

Hello,

Thanks for your response and your interest. I will like to properly introduce myself before going into detail of the job.

My name is Henry Clerk 49 years old, Originally from (London) UK,but I have spent 14 years of my life here in United State,presently on a business trip and I need a Personal Assistant urgently to run my errands until I return back to the US. I own an electronics and clothing store in London, United Kingdom. Here below is the job description.

So far, so good. Not sure why I need to know that he's 49, but if you're just skimming the paragraph, it's OK.

1. You will run errands for three times a week and two hours each day.

Umm...ok, which of these would it be? But probably it's 2 hours, three times a week. He just didn't write it clearly. Moving on...

2. You will do my business shopping.
3. You will receive my packages which will be shipped to the nearest UPS office to you.
You will go to the UPS office and pick up the packages. The content of the packages are electronics, clothes, my business and personal letters.
You will open the packages and confirm the contents for record purpose.
4. You will ship out some of the packages where I want them to be shipped to. (You don't have to pay for the shipment. All expenses and taxes will be covered by me)

Damn straight all expenses will be paid by you. But this is starting to sound strange. AND THEN...

5. You will receive payments from my clients on my behalf which will be written payable to your name so you can cash them at your bank. The payments will be in either check or money order. The payments will be for the services you will be rendering and to do my business shopping.

All right, done. We've entered crazy spam land. The only thing left is to see how this deteriorates rapidly for the rest of the email. I've bolded my favorite bit.

Job Requirement:

1. You must have good communication skill.
2. You must be efficient, reliable, responsible and trustworthy.
3. You must be able to perform your tasks effectively
4. You should be able to work 3 times per week and 2 hours each day.

Payment and Work Duration The Job will last for three months. I want to open another electronics and clothing store in the US when I return and if there is need to extend your services, an amendments would be made to your wages and you will be notified accordingly. I will meet you in person when I return back to the US . I am willing to pay $400 per week. Your weekly payment will be deducted from the payments sent to you by my clients.

I need the service of a personal assistant because I am always out of town for business trips. I have been checking my files and what i would want you to do for me this week is to run some errands out to some of the orphanage home,I do that every month .The funds will be in form of Cashier's Check or United Postal Money Order and it will be sent over to you from one of my clients and i have some list to email you once you received the funds,You will make some arrangements by buying some stuff for the kids in the nearest store around you so you can mail them out...I will get you more information on that,I will like you to get back to me with your Contact.

Details such as:

Full Name:
Full Contact Address: (Not P.O Box)
Phone Number:
Age:
Sex:
Email:

Once i received your contact information i will get back to you with the tasks ahead,Understand you will also be paid as well as its important for me to make the necessary steps before i get to the state.

Best Regards,
Clerk

What do you think? Should I take it...to help the orphans?

Job search update

Having finally decided what kind of job I'm looking for (a marketing position with an emphasis on social media), I'm deep in the networking phase of the job search.

The whole asking for help thing has been hard. As I call people I haven't spoken to in years, I keep thinking, "I'm just using them." But it finally occurred to me that if someone called me up and said they were looking for work, could I help, that I would be happy to do it. I wouldn't feel used; I would feel useful.

The only rule I have for myself is that I only call people for help if I would be comfortable offering them help in return. It's amazing how few people that eliminates from my inquiries.

I'll keep you posted.

Food, Justice, Religion, Meaning

As I search for other work (and if you know someone in the SF Bay Area looking for a capable administrator, please let me know), I have been contracted to create a 5-week curriculum, suitable for Lent, on food. It has been fascinating to create.

The most amazing tidbit was from The Agropolis Museum in France which has this to say about the history of food:

The oldest human vestiges known up to nowadays are dated 3 million years BP, agriculture started around 10000 years BP and the agro-industrial times have only 150 years.
If man had appeared on January 1rst, agriculture had started on the second half of December and the agro-industry on December 31st, late in the evening.

Isn't that incredible?

Oh, and by "agro-industry," we mean things like, oh, canning. It seems far too easy to say, "boo, bah, agro-industry BAD." But I for one don't want to go back to days before refrigeration.

One of the most amazing discoveries I made was this: in hunter-gatherer times, you went to where the food was. In agricultural times, you lived near where the food was. In agro-industrial times, the food travels to where you are.

The Local Food movement makes a lot more sense to me now as I realize how dependent our food culture is on petroleum--just in terms of transport. Doing this research, I'm less concerned about the worries of processed foods per se (a carton of milk is a processed food) than I am about the crazy number of miles food travels to get to my table. The notion of food miles is under serious debate right now, but it was certainly eye-opening to me to realize how novel this notion of food being transportable really is.

On the religion front, I have been absolutely fascinated in looking at food in religious culture as objectively as possible. What do we mean by our food? What are the messages we send? What are we trying to say? One of the lessons in the curriculum is to analyze your church's potluck supper: what are the norms? Why are they there? What would you find absolutely shocking?

Whitebread Protestants, the book I mentioned yesterday, points out in the introduction that almost every church in the U.S. has a kitchen, and asks the simple question, Why? Never thought about that before, did you? Neither did I. Why should there be a kitchen in a church? And what does this say about our faith?

I can hardly wait to get to the chapter on potlucks. Right now I'm reading about the (it seems now) utterly crazy two wine theory (any time the Bible mentions wine negatively, it was alcoholic wine; any time the Bible mentions wine positively, it was non-alcoholic--those prohibitionists worked so hard!) and the development of communion shot glasses.

Fascinating stuff. I'll post the link when the curriculum is ready to go.

Discernment is driving me crazy

Last week I linked to a blog entry entitled Discernment Looks Boring which talked about the new Harry Potter movie and how its slowness was representative of the hard work of discernment.

I realized today that I'm also struggling with discernment with this whole job search process. The running around and doing things part is easy; the actual sitting down and figuring out what I want to do? Not so much.

I've spent all morning doing stuff and avoiding the thinking stuff. As soon as I post this, I will shut down the computer and go and think.

The big question is "what do I want to do?" Since my answer to that is, I don't have a clue, the first thing I need to figure out are what are the smaller components that add up to "what I want to do."

Finding a job is hard enough. I had no idea it was going to be that much harder to find out what kind of job I'm looking for. What a slog! Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Turning off computer now.

Teaser Tuesday, November 23

This week's teaser is from the book Leaving Microsoft to Change the World, written by John Wood, the founder of Room to Read. All you bookish types who love reading coming to this blog from Should Be Reading might want to check them out. They do good work.

Those of you who regularly follow this blog know that Room to Read is an organization where I did an informational interview last week. I would love to work there. Such an amazing organization! And the founder's story is pretty incredible too.

Here's the teaser:

I did the math in my head several times because I kept arriving at a figure of ten cents per hour, and I simply could not imagine this small amount being the difference between receiving an education and not. So I confirmed the current exchange rate, and my math, with Vu. Yes, ten cents.

Teaser Tuesday is hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading where you will find all the details. What are you reading? Please join in!

Busy, busy, busy! Job search update

Forgive the dearth of blogging. I realized this morning why it's been so minimal the past couple of weeks. I calculate I'm doing 3 1/2 jobs right at the moment: there's working for Confirm not Conform, of course. I'm also, as you may recall, the sabbatical interim at All Saints, San Leandro, which requires a scoosh more time than Sundays.

Then, of course, there's the job search job which takes up more time than the other two! And then, finally, there's the new eBay stuff which is becoming a job in its own right--one with a very steep learning curve. Who knew people would be interested in my old flatware? Or that there was so much to learn about stainless steel spoons?

It's been a very busy week on the job search front. I got a particularly painful rejection letter from a parish; particularly painful because I had had a GREAT interview with them after which they said they wanted to hear me preach. Then yesterday I got a very impersonal letter (not even a signature!) saying, "we must regrettably inform you that your application was not selected for further consideration." Confused about this, I wrote to the head of the search committee, asking really? She wrote back saying, in essence, really, but maybe you'll come do supply work for us sometime.

I think I'm done looking for church jobs.

Meanwhile, I had a great informational interview at Room to Read through a friend of a friend. That networking thing takes a dogged persistence, I tell you what. Not my natural mode, but it really is amazing how connected you can be if you ask.

Finally, I've signed up with a couple of temp agencies since (ta da!) my position at Confirm not Conform will be...not exactly eliminated, but set to contract work beginning in 2011. Which is not a huge surprise (for me), but adds to the urgency of the other work I'm doing--particularly the job search part.

So that's the news. I'm sure I will find a new position, but it's going to be a lot of work in the meantime. I'll keep you posted.

Various and sundry, November 5

Still trying to come up with a good name for this feature. I changed it this week because I realized it's not all about the writing; sometimes it's the information I found fascinating.

Such as learning that those "close door" buttons in elevators are placebo buttons. When you've pushed them a dozen times and the doors don't close and you wonder, "Why aren't they doing anything?", it's because they're designed not to do anything. They only operate if you have the key. Oh, and thermostats in office buildings? Total fakes, most of 'em.

On the job search front, a friend of mine sent me this article that argues all that job interviews show is whether a person is good at interviewing. Maybe I should send this anonymously to any company where I apply.

As I spent some of my week thinking about being a person of strong opinion, I was struck by this article on The Importance of Being Unprincipled. The point was this: "The article is not saying there are no principles worth upholding. It’s just suggesting that we very, very carefully decide which ones they are....Perhaps we all could use a little of being 'unprincipled' and of 'weakly holding some strong opinions.'” I like that idea.

If you've got time on your hands and spend it staring into space, you might be interested in checking out GalaxyZoo. As I learned, "It's a crowdsource project to have regular people -- citizen scientists, as they say -- do image-processing for large-scale projects." Like classifying galaxy images from the Hubble telescope or sorting out the craters of the moon. I thought that was pretty cool!

Certainly Wallace and Gromit would do this. The boys are in trouble, however, for appearing on a Christmas stamp in the UK. How dare they have a secular Christmas stamp?! I would totally use these; I wish they had them here.

Have a great weekend!

Job search help!

As most of you know, I'm thinking very hard about this crazy career path of mine. I haven't closed out the possibility of parish work, but I also know there's no guarantee. The longer I'm not in parish ministry, the more unlikely it seems I will return.

And so I've been working through Richard Bolles' great book, "What Color is your Parachute?" I've gotten to the part where I've sussed out all my interests, transferable skills and all the rest. I look at this list and I have no clue what kind of job this might mean.

Here's where I need your help: Would you please look at the list below and let me know what jobs come to mind to you when you see them?

What job do you think of that uses
1) Analysis
2) Preaching
3) Gathering information/doing research
4) Writing
5) Designing/developing
especially in the fields of
6) Africa
7) Media literacy

No fair saying preacher!

Obit quote of the day

From the obituary for Benoit Mandelbrot:

“If you take the beginning and the end, I have had a conventional career,” he said, referring to his prestigious appointments in Paris and at Yale. “But it was not a straight line between the beginning and the end. It was a very crooked line.”

I am appreciating that right now.

You are here.  Somewhere.

Job listing

A friend of mine, knowing I'm in the midst of a job search, sent me this listing from Craigslist. I particularly like the part about how you need "a strong stomach." Even without that qualification (which I don't have) I live too far away to take the job. Shucks!

But, wow, kudos to those who do this. It looks like a tough, tough job that's probably far too necessary.

Crime Scene Cleanup & Hoarding/Clutter Clean up Part Time

Steri-Clean "Hoarder Helpers" and Crime Scene Steri-Clean, LLC is looking to hire 1 or 2 additional part time technicians. This is part time work with average hours at 20-30 per week but can be busier or slower at times. Candidates must meet the following minimum requirements:
1) Must live within 15 minutes of our office in order to meet contract requirements.
2) Clean Driving Record - Proof by Current DMV Printout
3) No Criminal Background (Misdemeanor/Felony) - Background checks will be performed
4) Excellent Physical shape - be able to move heavy furniture, appliances, etc while in hazmat clothing/respirator
5) Must be on call 24 hours a day on certain days.

Job Duties:
Steri-Clean and Crime Scene Steri-Clean, LLC performs both crime and trauma scene cleanup as well as hoarding/clutter clean up. You must have a strong stomach and be able to work fast, work smart and work hard. There is no room for errors or laziness. We clean everything from suicides and homicides to homes filled with trash, dead animals and human waste. It is not a glorious job by any means. We provide all training, vehicles, supplies, and equipment.

Compensation:
Starting part time pay is $15.00/hour while on a 6 month probationary period. Raises there after are given according to knowledge, attitude, experience and work history. Promotions are possible to full time with medical benefits.

***

All that for $15 an hour. Amazing.