Adventures in texting

So there I was, cooking dinner and sipping Chardonnay when my phone buzzes with a text. The full exchange follows:

Diz da m.o.bb lil bitch

Go suck a lil dick bitch

You nasty lil motherfucker

Mothafcker

I'm afraid you have the wrong number.

Use diz

Maybe wrong numba

Who diz

Who diz

Laura.

Really, I think you have the wrong number.

Ohh sorry brahh though iz my lil homes

But iz good I'm sorry

No prob.  Good night.

Good night but still sorry that how I talk to my friend in school we like to joke around wit mean words

I hate to tell you this but I'm a 42 year old Episcopal priest.  I was pretty certain your message wasn't meant for me.  No harm no foul, really.  You take care.  And be good to your friends.

Aright sorry priest please forgive me

Please forgive me sorry mam

It's ok; I'm in the forgiveness biz.

Now go back to what to what you were doing before I texted cause I though u were my feiend from school by Laura sorry mam

By

Bye.

Ight