Im an agent/blogger/publicist/talent scout if you think that i can help you with your career/company please just let me know...
P.S I can also offer you free advertising in my Blog are you interested in that?
But that is just PEANUTS compared to the email I received this morning in response to a Craigslist ad for an administrative/personal assistant position I applied for.
Thanks for your response and your interest. I will like to properly introduce myself before going into detail of the job.
My name is Henry Clerk 49 years old, Originally from (London) UK,but I have spent 14 years of my life here in United State,presently on a business trip and I need a Personal Assistant urgently to run my errands until I return back to the US. I own an electronics and clothing store in London, United Kingdom. Here below is the job description.
So far, so good. Not sure why I need to know that he's 49, but if you're just skimming the paragraph, it's OK.
1. You will run errands for three times a week and two hours each day.
Umm...ok, which of these would it be? But probably it's 2 hours, three times a week. He just didn't write it clearly. Moving on...
2. You will do my business shopping.
3. You will receive my packages which will be shipped to the nearest UPS office to you.
You will go to the UPS office and pick up the packages. The content of the packages are electronics, clothes, my business and personal letters.
You will open the packages and confirm the contents for record purpose.
4. You will ship out some of the packages where I want them to be shipped to. (You don't have to pay for the shipment. All expenses and taxes will be covered by me)
Damn straight all expenses will be paid by you. But this is starting to sound strange. AND THEN...
5. You will receive payments from my clients on my behalf which will be written payable to your name so you can cash them at your bank. The payments will be in either check or money order. The payments will be for the services you will be rendering and to do my business shopping.
All right, done. We've entered crazy spam land. The only thing left is to see how this deteriorates rapidly for the rest of the email. I've bolded my favorite bit.
1. You must have good communication skill.
2. You must be efficient, reliable, responsible and trustworthy.
3. You must be able to perform your tasks effectively
4. You should be able to work 3 times per week and 2 hours each day.
Payment and Work Duration The Job will last for three months. I want to open another electronics and clothing store in the US when I return and if there is need to extend your services, an amendments would be made to your wages and you will be notified accordingly. I will meet you in person when I return back to the US . I am willing to pay $400 per week. Your weekly payment will be deducted from the payments sent to you by my clients.
I need the service of a personal assistant because I am always out of town for business trips. I have been checking my files and what i would want you to do for me this week is to run some errands out to some of the orphanage home,I do that every month .The funds will be in form of Cashier's Check or United Postal Money Order and it will be sent over to you from one of my clients and i have some list to email you once you received the funds,You will make some arrangements by buying some stuff for the kids in the nearest store around you so you can mail them out...I will get you more information on that,I will like you to get back to me with your Contact.
Details such as:
Full Contact Address: (Not P.O Box)
Once i received your contact information i will get back to you with the tasks ahead,Understand you will also be paid as well as its important for me to make the necessary steps before i get to the state.
What do you think? Should I take it...to help the orphans?