Sweet Jesus on a breadstick! No more &*#$%@# handprint stoles!

You can buy this on Etsy for $75.
The description says (and I am not making
this up), "adorned with the colorful hand-
prints of actual joyful children!"

I participate in an online discussion group for people involved in Christian formation. Yesterday, someone asked what would be a good gift for the children to give to a new rector. Promptly, someone wrote back to suggest making a stole on which the children could put their handprints.

As you might have guessed from the title of this post, I reacted poorly.

But perhaps this is just me, I thought, and so I put the question to Twitter:

Clergy colleagues, be honest now. It's just between us. Do you want the children of your parish to make you a handprint stole?
— Laura Toepfer (@HeyToepfer) July 18, 2013

The reply was swift and clean:

@HeyToepfer No.
— Penny Nash (@penelopepiscopl) July 18, 2013

But I continued:

Next question for clergy: how many handprint stoles have you received during the course of your ministry?
— Laura Toepfer (@HeyToepfer) July 18, 2013

And when Laurie Brock, aka @drtysxyministry, appeared, things started to get real.

@FatherTim @scottagunn @davidsibley @HeyToepfer I have only one. With two handprints unfortunately placed.
— Laurie B. (@Drtysxyministry) July 18, 2013

@davidsibley @FatherTim @scottagunn @HeyToepfer Yes. Two handprints. Right. There. And. There.
— Laurie B. (@Drtysxyministry) July 18, 2013

@FatherTim @davidsibley @scottagunn @HeyToepfer I call it the Bad Touch Stole.
— Laurie B. (@Drtysxyministry) July 18, 2013

At which point I shared this image, which is something you will see if you Google "handprint stoles" as I did.

As Laurie noted,

@HeyToepfer @FatherTim @scottagunn @davidsibley And I will never be able to unsee that.
— Laurie B. (@Drtysxyministry) July 18, 2013

And you won't either.

Have we learned our lesson, people? It's a sweet thought, but keep your hands off the vestments.