Various & Sundry, no exertion required

All right, who's staying up until 1 in the morning (Pacific Time) to watch the women's triathlon? Me either. I've set the DVR, though, and will watch it while lounging about in my sweats with a cup of tea tomorrow morning. Hey, at least I'll be wearing athletic clothing.

I could, of course, always watch the triathlon while also commemorating the life and invention of William Staub, the man behind the treadmill we know and love today. He died, as seems only fair, at the age of 96.

Early on, Mr. Staub’s son Gerald designed an on-off switch that could be mounted on the handlebars. His father was perplexed.

“My father said, ‘Well, why would you want to do that?’ ” Thomas Staub said. “My brother said, ‘To make it easier for people.’ And my dad said, ‘But it’s an exercise device.’ ”

He has a point.

Another notable obituary this week for Thelma Glass, "the last surviving member of a black women’s group that in 1955 organized a yearlong bus boycott in Montgomery, Ala." She was 96. She taught geography at Alabama State University for 40 years. The obituary ends, "On July 20, just a few days before her death, Professor Glass attended a black tie gala at the university, clad in an elegant gown." That's the way to do it.

Speaking of elegant gowns--well, I'm not sure "elegant" is the right word, but Tom & Lorenzo have a fabulous (and opinionated) take on the gown that Kate Beckinsale wore to the premiere of Total Recall. Behold:

You got a big-ass science fiction film coming out? You don’t wear something demure and colorless; you wear something big and science-fictiony. You break out your muthafuckin Lizard Queen dress, bitches, and you conquer that red carpet like it’s loaded with potential slaves for your Space Lizard Empire. This is the kind of dress that immediately causes its wearer to stand up a little straighter and resist the overwhelming urge to shout things like “SEIZE THEM!!!!!”

Where's my Lizard Queen dress, minions? Oh, right. I'm looking forward to wearing sweats. To watch the Olympics. While potentially eating some zucchini and apricot muffins. I've got to do something with all these zucchinis. 

I don't know, though. It seems cruel to eat them when they're all snuggled together like this. Besides, does a Lizard Queen actually eat vegetables?