A friend of mine found this in the St. Paul's Benicia newsletter, which credits it to St. Paul's Shreveport. Wherever it originated, it deserves to be more widely known.
Signs of a healthy parish
• People are constantly expressing disagreement, and they do it right out in the open.
• The Rector is always behind in her work.
• The Vestry can never seem to make ends meet financially, and they are forever giving money away.
• New groups keep cropping up, bumping into each other over schedules, and competing over volunteers.
• A number of people miss meetings and insist on spending time with their families.
• The choir is filled with a lot of amateurs.
• The kids are noisy and all over the place, including the worship service.
• The Prayer Books are wearing out . . . the coffee hour is crowded and confusing . . . the front door is almost off its hinges . . . the electric bill is way over budget . . . and it seems that an awful lot of people have keys and all kinds of groups are coming and going.
• The place is full of losers. People who have lost their loved ones, people who know they can't make it on their own. People who are losing, but also finding their lives in receiving and giving a lot of love, for Christ's sake.
In short, a healthy, growing lively church!
What else would you add?