Sunday Funnies, February 27

According to Steve Martin, last week was the observance of the Oscar High Holy Days. He spent the week "tweeting the traditions of our religion." Enjoy.

Oscar Palm Sunday: The Triumphal entry of celebrities past regular diners at the Palm steakhouse.

Oscar Holy Monday: The Ceremony of the Borrowing of the Jewels.

Oscar Holy Tuesday: The Holy Reading of Bad Reviews of Movie Classics.

Oscar Holy Tuesday Afternoon: The Holy Reading of Rave Reviews of Movies Never Seen Again.

Oscar Holy Wednesday: The Coveting of the Nomination

Oscar Holy Wednesday: The Ritual of the Scuffing of Soles of New Shoes to Prevent Slipping.

Oscar Holy Thursday: The Holy Reading of Presenters’ Banter from Oscars Past.

Oscar Holy Friday: The Holy Reading of the Grosses (On the first weekend, E.T. did take in…).

Oscar Holy Good - But We're Going to Have to Pass - Friday.

Oscar Holy Saturday: The Sacrifice of the Virgins. Oh wait, that takes place all through the year.

Oscar Holy Saturday: The Ritual of the Purchasing of the Purell.

Oscar Holy Saturday: Man-Waxing.

Oscar Holy Saturday: The Casting of the Seat Fillers.

Oscar Holy Sunday: Today you are forbidden to drive yourself.

Oscar Holy Sunday: The Ritual of the Wedging of the Spanx.

Oscar Holy Sunday: The Ritual Thanking of the Lord for Helping One Win and For Not Helping the Other Nominees.

will update if other Oscar Sunday rituals are announced.