God Late for Local Wedding ("Calling Himself 'free of sin,' the Lord blamed His late arrival on poor directions provided by the couple.")
and Supernatural Powers Vested in Local Pastor, reprinted in its entirety:
BILOXI, MS—Michael Cotto, 27, and Laura Winningham, 26, were pronounced husband and wife Monday, thanks to the supernatural powers vested in local Presbyterian minister Gerald Dreisbach by the Lord Himself. "We are so lucky to live near a man who is an actual conduit of God's will," Cotto told reporters after the ceremony. "We wouldn't have been able to get married otherwise." Dreisbach has also used his otherworldly authority to call for good fortune in the lives of parishioners, as well as swift passage to heaven for the deceased.
Lots of other good stuff for the bitter and not-at-all-bitter alike.
And then there's this:
OH so satisfying!
h/t Scott at Seven Whole Days.