Dec 28, 2012, at 8:24 PM:
Tonight, Friday December 28, 2012, around 5:00pm our doorbell rang. At the door were two suspicious looking male teens in white shirts and cheap neckties. They said they were missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints. Paul said “Thank you but we are a gay household and no one here wants to talk with you.” and closed the door. Then the two young men on the outside of the door prayed in loud voices that God cures all of their homosexual afflictions.
We will need everyone’s help. After 17 years together and a lifelong interest in men this will mean a major life change. You may be called on to fix us up with women, give basic dating advice and lend us all your old Victoria’s Secret catalogs. We plan to check daily so we can tell you as soon as the big change happens.
In the mean time we will be returning their prayer with a prayer that cures their acne.
Paul and James
Dec 29, 2012, at 10:02 AM:
Paul and James,
I turn away all missionaries, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and born agains, explaining that I am not religious. You are perhaps the more fortunate; these people never pray for me, apparently recognizing that I am totally lost and happily headed for Hell, which at least has a balanced budget.
I would like to help you but threw out all of my old copies of Playboy years ago. All I can do is wish you Happy New Year and tell you that I feel lucky to have you as neighbors and as friends.