Quote of the day: Nora Ephron

I've been seeing lots of people tweet this quote from Nora Ephron to commemorate her: "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." And it's a fabulous and tweetable quote.

But it's part of a much larger and important piece, her wonderful 1996 commencement address to Wellesley.  Please read it in full. But here's the paragraph that leapt out at me, in light of the recent Atlantic article about how women can't have it all. (EXCELLENT rebuttal here, btw). 

So what are you going to do? This is the season when a clutch of successful women—who have it all —give speeches to women like you and say, to be perfectly honest, you can't have it all. Maybe young women don't wonder whether they can have it all any longer, but in case any of you are wondering, of course you can have it all. What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don't be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I've had four careers and three husbands. And this is something else I want to tell you, one of the hundreds of things I didn't know when I was sitting here so many years ago: you are not going to be you, fixed and immutable you, forever....Did I say it was hard? Yes, but let me say it again so that none of you can ever say the words, nobody said it was so hard. But it's also incredibly interesting. You are so lucky to have that life as an option.

Oh, Nora! We are going to miss you so much. I already hate not having you around and I never even knew you.