So many options this week! The Shit Choristers Say video? The Which Denomination are You flowchart? But no, I think I'm going with the article from the new Church Satire magazine The Lark entitled
Pastor's Wife Sends Body Double to Sit Pleasantly on the Front Pew
GRAND FORKS, Mich. — Unbeknownst to her husband or congregation, Trudy Smith has been avoiding church for two years, sending a look-alike in her place.
“I’m saddened to announce that the woman you’ve seen here is not my wife,” pastor Nevin Smith said to a hushed congregation at Belfrey Presbyterian church.
His wife Trudy began staying home after running into a woman at Kohl’s who looked very much like her.
“I asked what she did on Sunday mornings, and would she like to make a hundred bucks a week?” Trudy says. “She said yes and suddenly I was free.”
The impostor played the role successfully, greeting people, hugging her husband, listening to the sermon, taking copious notes. But she was found out when Nevin invited her up one Sunday for a spontaneous reprisal of an old hymn they sang early in their ministry.
“I knew the kids’ names, anniversaries and birthdays, but I didn’t know that song,” said the fake Trudy, who asked not to be identified. She made roughly $10,000 over two years.
“Worth every penny,” says the real Trudy, who’s back on the front pew. “You know, mannequins are getting more realistic …” •