tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5044820951794078204.post5280915564877018549..comments2023-10-30T05:38:45.028-07:00Comments on The Infusion: Ask culture and Guess cultureLKThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05791517233920008067noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5044820951794078204.post-64964987077444894692010-05-13T17:14:36.387-07:002010-05-13T17:14:36.387-07:00A variant of this is the Tell culture or the Hint ...A variant of this is the Tell culture or the Hint culture. I knew a guy who never ended a sentence. He'd just let it trail off, and wait for the listener to figure out what he wanted to say. This left the listener with all the risk of figuring things out, and possibly being wrong. He was a world-class Hint person.<br /><br />Thanks to him, I developed my creed of "I am not responsible for what I haven't been told." It is not my job to guess, wonder, risk or otherwise do the work of communicating on behalf of someone else. If they don't say it to me directly, then I am not responsible for either responding or acting on what I think they might want. It's made life much, much easier.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11973968247928288786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5044820951794078204.post-57027558050649628662010-05-13T14:30:52.673-07:002010-05-13T14:30:52.673-07:00The best advise I ever received from anyone was &q...The best advise I ever received from anyone was "If you don't ask, you don't get." <br /><br />Which is to say that I am a reformed Guesser, or have outgrown Guessing. Guessers spend so much time being subtle and indirect--to what end?!--and then complain about it later (and I speak for my former self, when I write this). Sometimes, there is an esteem issue involved in Guessing, I think, which fuels the indirect communication mode--fear of rejection, perhaps.<br /><br />Askers make opportunities for themselves and others, I have discovered. "No" responses come with the territory, and are okay--you move on. But, I have discovered that the Asker (me) sometimes opens the door for shy others to say YES to the world. And, having been a shy other at various times, myself, I enjoy that the tables can be turned.qoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06687807550095367481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5044820951794078204.post-41066704464338533602010-05-13T12:33:55.536-07:002010-05-13T12:33:55.536-07:00I'm a Guesser, for sure - I hate confrontation...I'm a Guesser, for sure - I hate confrontation, even such minor confrontation as asking for something - but I married an Asker so I've gradually become better about being direct.Lorinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03931566230820899463noreply@blogger.com